I Stopped Apologizing and My World Opened Up!

This is me since I've stopped apologizing. Yeah--I no longer say I'm sorry.


Someone once asked me if I could count the number of times I had apologized just in a single morning.  I couldn't.  There were too many to count.  I would apologize for everything, to my partner when my alarm went off, to the barista when I needed extra cream in my coffee, for ordering extra cheese on my sand which for lunch--just everything. Even things beyond my control or responsibility.

I once dated a man who didn't apologize.  It was so foreign to me. I could barely fathom it.  Yet, there was a grace and a self respect he carried that I threw away trying to please my surroundings.

According to a study in Psychology Today, women have a lower threshold for what constitutes offensive behavior.  As a well socialized women, I used to profusely apologize, all the time, for things that did not need an apology.  I wanted everyone to feel taken care of and I wanted to be perceived as nice. And it was very draining.

A few years ago I began to become conscious of my desire to apologize.  When the desire would come up, I would ask myself if the situation warranted an apology or if I was apologizing for my existence.  I am much happier now, and surprisingly enough, I believe I take better care of my surroundings by being calm, conscious and respectful vs an apologetic mess.