The Yoni Experience Part 2: The How To
I recently begun trying yoni egg’s. Funny timing, I know, with the whole Gwyneth Paltrow and Gunter scandal underway. I read both articles, and although I kind of thought Goop's was a bunch of baloney, I also couldn't bare to read the snarky words of Gunter.
One of the things overlooked in the drama is how we have only recently begun researching women’s reproductive health, not to mention female pleasure, and the fact that, in reality, very little research has been done on it. For example, we know very little as to what causes and how to prevent prolapsed in women. The French are doing some incredible work with postpartum women to reduce prolepses and yet, in the US, we joke about the efforts of the French.
I found this video to be helpful in debunking whether or not vaginal eggs are safe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N02RS1-99WE
Personally, I would rather have a stone, glass or metal vaginal weight than something plastic. Vaginas are highly absorbent, so the less chemicals, the better.
When choosing a yoni egg I was looking for very specific qualifications:
GIA or AGS certified (which is one way to know you're getting what you think you're getting).
The Woman Whole has a great selection of eggs at reasonable prices that hold true to the above standards. I believe a majority of her eggs are GIA certified and the owner, Star, is working towards selling only GIA certified stones. After wading through a bunch of sites I was relieved to find exactly what I was looking for on her site. She had a beautiful array of stones and I chose the ones I was drawn to. Plus it’s nice to support small business.
She sends her parcels out with so much TLC. A little pack of cleansing herbs, incense, sage, and a tiny sting drawn pouch for weights. During the month of February The Woman Whole will be donating $1 for every oder she receives to One Billion Rising. A badass organization supporting the solidarity of women around the world. Even more important today since Trump will likely be cutting the funding for grants working to end Violence-Against-Women.
Does Size Matter?
When it comes to size, it really doesn’t matter a whole lot. Some people claim if a woman has gone through birth they should use a larger egg, and if a woman hasn’t gone through labor she should use a smaller egg. It really has to do with ones own comfort level and pelvic floor strength.
True that larger eggs are easier to manipulate, and one may have to build up to a smaller egg. However, I talked with women who have been using eggs for over 20 years and they pretty much use a medium size egg all the time.
I would suggest starting out with a medium sized egg.
I use two eggs, one non drilled large size egg, and one drilled small egg. I use the small egg with weights and the larger egg for a sensate focused practice.
Drilled or Non Drilled
If you have never used a yoni egg, definitely get a drilled egg. Very important.
Unless you are incredibly comfortable with your body, having your fingers inside yourself and have a strong understanding of how to work withe your birthing muscles, I highly suggest you get a drilled egg, even if just for mental security. Getting the egg out, without a string, can be very challenging for some women. The egg will always come out, no it cannot get stuck, and unlike the anus, things cannot get lost in your vagina. Although, I do not suggest using the string to remove your egg, it helps to be able to give it a little tug and feel where it is.
Side Note: never ever, like ever-ever, put anything in your anus that does not have a wide and secure base, because things can get lost up there and cause serious internal damage. Your anus can actually suck things up into it, hence using toys with wide bases. Of course, accidents do happen, in which case simply go to the emergency room ASAP. Do not try to remove anything from your bum on your own. Seek medical attention immediately.
Ok, sorry, I totally didn’t mean to scare you, but like no one has that info. WTF, right?
Back to the yoni
How to Prepare the Egg
There are some disagreements when it comes to whether or not to boil your yoni egg, but I am incredibly sensitive to bacterial infections so I am not one to risk it. A boyfriend literally broke up with me cause I asked him to wash his hands before we got frisky. True story. And this was after we rode the NYC subway... but hey, if I had to do it again, I would choose to ditch the guy and avoid the BV every time.
So anyway, I boil my egg and love people who wash their hands.
Here's The How To
Get a small cooking pot, gently place your egg into it, then fill with water so it is covering the egg by maybe half an inch. use COLD water. Like so important. seriously.
It is quick temperature variations that will crack your egg. So use cold water, then put it on the stove on low heat--where it will slowly reach a low boil.
Let the egg simmer for ten minutes, then let cool either by removing the egg from the pot with a spoon or by letting the whole thing cool down. Once cool, place the egg on a clean towel and let dry.
If you see dye or wax leach out of the egg when boiling, or it cracks, good riddance. It's like a little extra test to make certain your egg is safe to use.
I boil my egg before each use, although this is probably over kill. I am an extremely thorough person—it’s almost a problem. Plus, I like the sensation of a warm egg inside me.
Once done with your practice remember to immediately rinse your egg with warm water in prep for next time. Otherwise, well, gross.
How to Use the Egg
There are two main ways to use a jade egg, one technique is with weights, and another technique is as a relaxation sensate focus object.
When I first got my yoni egg I was like, ok, now what the hell do I do?
Here's what I learned, but feel free to mix it up and do what feels good to you.
Step 1: Prepare your egg and clean it as mentioned above
Step 2: Prepare your weight. I use a little cloth draw string baggie (but you could even use a plastic ziplock and pock a hole through it). Next, fill the little bag with weight. I use marbles but other women use dried goods like a couple tablespoons of dried rice or beans.
Step 3: String your egg with non-waxed, flavorless floss or silk thread.
Step 4: Attach the draw string pouch to the flossed egg and double knot it for security. When it comes to the length of floss, you want the weight to hit about 4 to 6 inches above your knee.
Step 5: Insert your egg, I like to turn myself on before hand since it gives the weight lifting that extra sensual kick. To insert lay on your back with your pelvis tilted up (bum a couple inches off the ground/bed/yoga mat) hold the egg to your vaginal opening and deeply relax all your muscles. Let gravity pull your egg up inside you. Here’s something fascinating:
The vagina, when properly connected to the breath, can actually naturally engulf the egg into itself. There is no need to push the egg up into your vagina. Being gentle and feeling pleasure is the most important aspect. Always. If something ever doesn’t feel good, stop. And, that can go for just about every aspect in life.
Step 6: Once your egg is comfortably inside you, gently stand up, while holding the weight, then gently release the weight. If the egg falls out or if you are tensing to hold the egg in, there is too much weight in the pouch. If it’s the easiest thing in the world, you probably want more weight. Find that goldie locks perfection. The smallest amount of effort—yet no straining please!
Step 7: Once you’ve found a good weight for your practice, find your stance. The wider your stance, the harder your pelvic floor has to work, so as a beginner you may want to start with feet hip width apart.
Step 8: Begin your exercises: here are three to start off with:
Inhale and swing your pelvis forward, tightening your pelvic floor, exhale and press your pelvis back fully releasing and relaxing your pelvic floor. As your weight begins to swing, it will increase the challenge for the pelvic floor muscles.
Cork screw your hips, like you are drawing a circle with your hips, relax, slow down, enjoy, continue as long as it feels good, then switch directions
Stand still, inhale, squeeze your egg up, pulling up on the pelvic floor muscles, then exhale and push your egg down as you continue to squeeze, then repeat. It might take you a while to get the hang of this one. Visualization definitely helps.
Step 9: Once you have completed your practice, lay back down on your mat or bed and remove your egg. Put the egg to the side and then take a few minutes for yourself to relax your entire body fully.
Step 10: Check in with yourself. The intention is to have a strong yet, relaxed pussy, not tight: a 10 to 15 minute practice is more than enough time for an average workout.
The Non Weighted Yoni Egg
Follow the steps above just without the weight, then once you have connected with your breath and your egg is inside you, gently stand up and go about your day. It's that simple. As a beginner I keep mine inside for short periods of time from 30 to 120 minutes max. I like to put it in before I go on my daily walk. When the egg is inside you, there is no need to hold or clench. It is actually a practice of relaxation, not tension. The deeper you can relax your pelvis, the deeper your practice can go. Too often we go about our days getting stressed by this or that, and we hold that tension in our bodies, so learning to release that tension is key. Breathe deep into your belly. The practice is bringing awareness to your pelvis and vagina. Bringing love, touch and awareness to your pelvis is incredibly powerful and healing.
Through this sensate focus one can change their emotional relationship to their genitalia, womb, and vulva. This emotional relationship one has with their own body changes the actual physiological structure of the body. Women who have more negative views of their genitals experience more pain during sex. I found this amazing, it's not just less pleasure that these women experience, but actual pain.
I will do one more installment of the Yoni series, Part III, which will focus more on the personal and the experiences I am having from using the eggs.
Please let me know if you have any questions, stories or comments! I always love to hear from you!