The Yoni Experience Part 2: The How To

The Yoni Experience Part 2: The How To

I recently begun trying yoni egg’s. Funny timing, I know, with the whole Gwyneth Paltrow and Gunter scandal underway.  I read both articles, and although I kind of thought Goop's was a bunch of baloney, I also couldn't bare to read the snarky words of Gunter.

One of the things overlooked in the drama is how we have only recently begun researching women’s reproductive health, not to mention female pleasure, and the fact that, in reality, very little research has been done on it.   For example, we know very little as to what causes and how to prevent prolapsed in women.  The French are doing some incredible work with postpartum women to reduce prolepses and yet, in the US, we joke about the efforts of the French.

You can read Part 1 of The Yoni Experience discussing if yoni eggs actually work here.

I found this video to be helpful in debunking whether or not vaginal eggs are safe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N02RS1-99WE

Personally, I would rather have a stone, glass or metal vaginal weight than something plastic.  Vaginas are highly absorbent, so the less chemicals, the better. 

When choosing a yoni egg I was looking for very specific qualifications:

Wax free

Dye free

Chemical free

and

GIA or AGS certified (which is one way to know you're getting what you think you're getting).

The Woman Whole has a great selection of eggs at reasonable prices that hold true to the above standards.  I believe a majority of her eggs are GIA certified and the owner, Star, is working towards selling only GIA certified stones.  After wading through a bunch of sites I was relieved to find exactly what I was looking for on her site.  She had a beautiful array of stones and I chose the ones I was drawn to.  Plus it’s nice to support small business.

She sends her parcels out with so much TLC. A little pack of cleansing herbs, incense, sage, and a tiny sting drawn pouch for weights. During the month of February The Woman Whole will be donating $1 for every oder she receives to One Billion Rising. A badass organization supporting the solidarity of women around the world.  Even more important today since Trump will likely be cutting the funding for grants working to end Violence-Against-Women.

Does Size Matter?

When it comes to size, it really doesn’t matter a whole lot.  Some people claim if a woman has gone through birth they should use a larger egg, and if a woman hasn’t gone through labor she should use a smaller egg.  It really has to do with ones own comfort level and pelvic floor strength.

True that larger eggs are easier to manipulate, and one may have to build up to a smaller egg.  However, I talked with women who have been using eggs for over 20 years and they pretty much use a medium size egg all the time.

I would suggest starting out with a medium sized egg.

I use two eggs, one non drilled large size egg, and one drilled small egg.    I use the small egg with weights and the larger egg for a sensate focused practice.

Drilled or Non Drilled

If you have never used a yoni egg, definitely get a drilled egg. Very important. 

Unless you are incredibly comfortable with your body, having your fingers inside yourself and have a strong understanding of how to work withe your birthing muscles, I highly suggest you get a drilled egg, even if just for mental security.  Getting the egg out, without a string, can be very challenging for some women.  The egg will always come out, no it cannot get stuck, and unlike the anus, things cannot get lost in your vagina.  Although, I do not suggest using the string to remove your egg, it helps to be able to give it a little tug and feel where it is.

Side Note: never ever, like ever-ever, put anything in your anus that does not have a wide and secure base, because things can get lost up there and cause serious internal damage.  Your anus can actually suck things up into it, hence using toys with wide bases.  Of course, accidents do happen, in which case simply go to the emergency room ASAP.  Do not try to remove anything from your bum on your own.  Seek medical attention immediately.

Ok, sorry, I totally didn’t mean to scare you, but like no one has that info.  WTF, right?

Back to the yoni

How to Prepare the Egg

There are some disagreements when it comes to whether or not to boil your yoni egg, but I am incredibly sensitive to bacterial infections so I am not one to risk it.  A boyfriend literally broke up with me cause I asked him to wash his hands before we got frisky.  True story.  And this was after we rode the NYC subway... but hey, if I had to do it again, I would choose to ditch the guy and avoid the BV every time.

So anyway, I boil my egg and love people who wash their hands.

 

Here's The How To

Get a small cooking pot, gently place your egg into it, then fill with water so it is covering the egg by maybe half an inch. use COLD water.  Like so important.  seriously.

It is quick temperature variations that will crack your egg.  So use cold water, then put it on the stove on low heat--where it will slowly reach a low boil.  

Let the egg simmer for ten minutes, then let cool either by removing the egg from the pot with a spoon or by letting the whole thing cool down.  Once cool, place the egg on a clean towel and let dry.

If you see dye or wax leach out of the egg when boiling, or it cracks, good riddance.  It's like a little extra test to make certain your egg is safe to use.

I boil my egg before each use, although this is probably over kill. I am an extremely thorough person—it’s almost a problem.  Plus, I like the sensation of a warm egg inside me.

Once done with your practice remember to immediately rinse your egg with warm water in prep for next time.  Otherwise, well, gross.

How to Use the Egg

There are two main ways to use a jade egg, one technique is with weights, and another technique is as a relaxation sensate focus object.

When I first got my yoni egg I was like, ok, now what the hell do I do? 

Here's what I learned, but feel free to mix it up and do what feels good to you.

Step 1: Prepare your egg and clean it as mentioned above

Step 2: Prepare your weight.  I use a little cloth draw string baggie (but you could even use a plastic ziplock and pock a hole through it).  Next, fill the little bag with weight.  I use marbles but other women use dried goods like a couple tablespoons of dried rice or beans. 

Step 3:  String your egg with non-waxed, flavorless floss or silk thread. 

Step 4:  Attach the draw string pouch to the flossed egg and double knot it for security.  When it comes to the length of floss, you want the weight to hit about 4 to 6 inches above your knee.

Step 5:  Insert your egg, I like to turn myself on before hand since it gives the weight lifting that extra sensual kick.  To insert lay on your back with your pelvis tilted up (bum a couple inches off the ground/bed/yoga mat) hold the egg to your vaginal opening and deeply relax all your muscles.  Let gravity pull your egg up inside you. Here’s something fascinating:

The vagina, when properly connected to the breath, can actually naturally engulf the egg into itself.  There is no need to push the egg up into your vagina. Being gentle and feeling pleasure is the most important aspect.  Always.  If something ever doesn’t feel good, stop.  And, that can go for just about every aspect in life.

Step 6: Once your egg is comfortably inside you, gently stand up, while holding the weight, then gently release the weight.  If the egg falls out or if you are tensing to hold the egg in, there is too much weight in the pouch.  If it’s the easiest thing in the world, you probably want more weight.  Find that goldie locks perfection. The smallest amount of effort—yet no straining please!

Step 7: Once you’ve found a good weight for your practice, find your stance. The wider your stance, the harder your pelvic floor has to work, so as a beginner you may want to start with feet hip width apart. 

Step 8: Begin your exercises:  here are three to start off with:

Inhale and swing your pelvis forward, tightening your pelvic floor, exhale  and press your pelvis back fully releasing and relaxing your pelvic floor.  As your weight begins to swing, it will increase the challenge for the pelvic floor muscles.

Cork screw your hips, like you are drawing a circle with your hips, relax, slow down, enjoy, continue as long as it feels good, then switch directions

Stand still, inhale, squeeze your egg up, pulling up on the pelvic floor muscles, then exhale and push your egg down as you continue to squeeze, then repeat.  It might take you a while to get the hang of this one. Visualization definitely helps.

Step 9: Once you have completed your practice, lay back down on your mat or bed and remove your egg.  Put the egg to the side and then take a few minutes for yourself to relax your entire body fully.

Step 10: Check in with yourself.  The intention is to have a strong yet, relaxed pussy, not tight: a 10 to 15 minute practice is more than enough time for an average workout.

The Non Weighted Yoni Egg

Follow the steps above just without the weight, then once you have connected with your breath and your egg is inside you, gently stand up and go about your day. It's that simple.  As a beginner I keep mine inside for short periods of time from 30 to 120 minutes max.  I like to put it in before I go on my daily walk.  When the egg is inside you, there is no need to hold or clench.  It is actually a practice of relaxation, not tension.  The deeper you can relax your pelvis, the deeper your practice can go.  Too often we go about our days getting stressed by this or that, and we hold that tension in our bodies, so learning to release that tension is key.  Breathe deep into your belly. The practice is bringing awareness to your pelvis and vagina.  Bringing love, touch and awareness to your pelvis is incredibly powerful and healing.

Through this sensate focus one can change their emotional relationship to their genitalia, womb, and vulva.  This emotional relationship one has with their own body changes the actual physiological structure of the body.  Women who have more negative views of their genitals experience more pain during sex.  I found this amazing, it's not just less pleasure that these women experience, but actual pain.  

I will do one more installment of the Yoni series, Part III, which will focus more on the personal and the experiences I am having from using the eggs.

Please let me know if you have any questions, stories or comments!  I always love to hear from you!

X

Emily

 

Damaris Knows What Women Want

When it comes to lingerie Damaris knows what's going down.  The perfect combo of sexy/playful/erotic/elegant I don't know how they pull it off, but they do.  EVERY TIME.   

I love Damaris as a Valentines Day pick since they are made and designed for women. The pieces featured here, the Pandora Tassel Bra and Boyshort, are handcrafted masterpieces.  Made with silk and silk and silk.  Pink sheer tulle held together with a darker pink silk trim, then decorated with showgirl fringe that are incredible to walk in.  Every time you take a step it feels as though someone is gently kissing you.  Amazing! 

The set is also remarkably practical.  The bra is delicate enough to wear under a shirt without drawing attention if needed, and the boyshorts are breathable.  

Like I said, made for women. 

The bra is held together with a signature Damaris gold horse shoe shaped ring, see below for details, making this set even more luxurious.  The ring acts more as a piece of jewelry than a bra clasp.

Damaris is the luxury brand from Mimi Holiday another one of my favs.  Once you try them, you will be a returning customer for life.   Comfort, elegance and individuality that wont' break the bank.

XX-Emily

The Yoni Experience Part 1: Let's Get Technical

By now we have all heard of yoni eggs, those mysterious stones intended to be placed inside the vaginal canal for health and wellbeing.  I've been curious about them for quite some time. I have looked into them here and there, heard stories from friends, but it never felt right for me to try them myself, until recently.  

Yoni, a word deriving from sanskrit, can be translated as the female creative energy, or the point of origin of the universe.  Its parallel would be the the shiva lingam, or male creative energy.  These are words used commonly in the hindu religion.  These are not gendered terms, they are energetic terms similiar to yin and yang.

Before we dive in, I want to give a little preface to this three part series.  People on the internet seem to have a lot of opinions about vaginal weights, yoni eggs specifically.  So in Part 1 I wanted to bring you the most up to date and evidence based research on the topic.  Later I will share my own experiences and perspectives, framed within what I have found from current medical research.  That being said, if you are looking into trying vaginal weights yourself, please check with your health care professional first, and honestly a pelvic floor specialist is just an awesome person to have on your team. 

I also want to emphasize that using yoni eggs, does not in any way, insinuate lack of absolute natural vaginal perfection.  Somewhere along the way, particularly in the US, women picked up this idea that the state of our vagina isn't "good enough."  We got this idea that our vagina's should be tighter, stronger and younger--I call bullshit.  This type of thinking is inaccurate, heartbreaking and dangerous. The vagina is a miracle, it is self healing, self cleaning and made up of a group of muscles that are incredibly elastic.  That being said, if you are having any type of issue or insecurity regarding your vaginal strength, I suggest you go to a pelvic floor specialist--because they are awesome and your vagina is awesome!

Now let's get to the good stuff!  Sadly, science isn't ready to do much investigating into women's pleasure yet, so the research I found is all about solving problems.  The main problem discussed in relation to pelvic floor health is incontinence.   It's pretty funny reading some of the research out there.  Little sentences will pop up on the side saying, "ummm, some women found a side effect to be stronger orgasms." No big deal.  

So we've all heard the rumors that yoni eggs can help with sexual health, lubrication, confidence,  libido, hormone balancing, PMS, breast tenderness, strengthening the vaginal walls, pelvic floor muscles, and probably creating world peace too.  For me though, the most important benefit of working with yoni eggs is the self awareness brought to the pussy.  Even if the only benefit was bringing a little self love there, it would totally be worth it.  We put our vaginas on the back burner way too often.

So do yoni eggs actually benefit the vagina?  

Three of the main types of therapies currently being used for vaginal health are: vaginal weights, pelvic floor muscle training (PFMT), better known as kegels, and lastly electrostimulation.  Research has found no statistically significant difference between these therapy methods and their effectiveness.   Basically this means each therapy technique has about the same range of effectiveness and much depends on a women's therapy preference and physiology.  Every person's anatomy and pelvic floor is completely unique and will need different things.  One thing everyone seems to agree on though is that exercise is key for a healthy pelvic floor.  Even walking 20 minutes a day can greatly improve your overall health and well being.  The pelvic floor muscles (PFM) are like a hammock that holds everything up, so if the muscle groups surrounding the PFM are strong, it puts less stress on the PFM.

But basically, YES, science says yes. Yoni eggs work.

Now to the personal, I hate doing kegels, I never do them, and I know I should, but I find them so annoying, besides that stopping-your-pee-a-few-times-midstream technique.  Also, according to research kegels are pretty hard to do correctly--apparently a lot of people are doing them wrong--who knew!--consulting with a physical therapist might be valuable since incorrectly stressing your PFM can cause harm.   However, here is a link to the proper basic kegel and if you are more into visuals here is a youtube link.

MEN: I am not an expert on this at ALLL and I can't speak from personal experience but kegels are not just for the gals.  Here's one fun link ya might want to check out.

Self taught use of vaginal weights can be effective for some women and the weight of the egg can be an indicator of pelvic floor strength.  Vaginal weights will be more effective for some women than others, however some women find them uncomfortable, so they are definitely not for everyone. Again, a health care professional can help you determination this, as well as trusting your own intuition.  If there is any type of pain or discomfort simply discontinue use.

I knew I needed to wait until now to try yoni eggs.  I cannot tell you why.  I made the decision based on my feelings and intuition.  In Part 2 I will go into choosing a yoni egg, how your yoni practice can be incredible for preparing for childbirth, whether or not to use the stones on your period, how to clean your egg and a millions more things that were simply too long to cover here.

 

Some more sources from this article:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0011404/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2997838/

http://www.apta.org/Default.aspx

http://www.apta.org/uploadedFiles/APTAorg/Payment/Medicare/Coverage_Issues/Urinary_Incontinence/Comments_042810.pdf#search=%22vaginal weights%22

https://www.nafc.org/kegel/?rq=vaginal%20weights

http://www.womenshealthapta.org/blog/sowh-opens-its-courses-to-physical-therapist-assistants-recognizing-the-critical-role-of-ptas-in-pelvic-health-rehabilitation/

Bone Broth, Simple Homemade Collagen

COLLAGEN--NATURE'S BOTOX

I am a HUGE believer in preventative care, I mean why make more work for yourself later, right?!

I wrote a piece on all the INCREDIBLE benefits of COLLAGEN here 

But here's a list of just a few of the benefits of this protein structure building so much of our bodies

 

improved digestion

clearer skin

joint and bone health

immune and central nervous system health

reduces cellulite and stretch marks

reduces fine lines and wrinkles

strengthens teeth, nails and hair

boosts metabolism

helps detox

 

I mean, the list just keeps going!  What is so delicious about collagen is how accessible and easy it is, as well as being a SUPER HERO for your HEALTH and a natural BEAUTY MIRACLE.  It's basically every gals dream.

 

You can also purchase collagen powder  (I go into different brands here and the low down on buying from a brand that uses ONE ingredient only--no fillers!!!)  In this post I'll go into how easy it is to make your own collagen. In the winter time I have a pot going constantly.  In warmer weather, or when I'm traveling, or simply when I don't feel like cooking, I love having the powder on hand.  It's def one of my staples.

I like to make my bone broth in a crockpot so I don't have to think about it.  I put in on low heat, throw some bones, water, spices and apple cider vinegar and BAM a few hours later DONE.  Throughout the next 3 to 5 days I simply keep adding water whenever I use it.  The bones will keep producing collagen throughout the week.

I try to create a lot of diversity in my family and I's diet so here I am using local organic bison bones which give a much fuller flavor than chicken bones.  Chicken bones are the most neutral in flavor.  I like to make a baked chicken, then make use of the leftover bones for a bone broth. My sister texted me tonight asking how many bones I normally use. Sometimes I'll throw the whole chicken bone structure into the crockpot, other times I'll use only the big bones (so I don't have to take time straining them out--Yes! to doing less things!).  You can really be flexible depending on how strong you want the broth.

  The broth can be used as a soup base, used to make dishes like rice--giving the rice a richer flavor--whatever I cook throughout the next couple days I throw a little of that broth in and whenever the water is running low in the crock pot I just add more!

For more flavor you can add root veggies like celery, onions, carrots and garlic--I always add chili flakes because spice is my EVERYTHING.  

The trick of an extra healthy batch of broth is to add an acid like lemon or vinegar helping extract more minerals from the bones.  I am never without the 100% organic/raw/unpasteurized/unfiltered version of apple cider vinegar NO preservative filled shit please and thank you!  Braggs is like $5 at any grocery store and has live probiotics in it. YAY!

Royce

If you are looking for a wire free cotton bra that gives you the same support and shape as a wired bra check out ROYCE.  

There are several things I adore and admire about this brand, first off it truly is MADE for WOMEN.  No matter your size, no matter your age, no matter if you are breast feeding or have had a mastectomy--ROYCE has you covered.  It is so refreshing to see a lingerie label that truly has your back no matter what your needs are.

Another reason ROYCE is totally kicking butt is how socially conscious they are--donating to breast cancer research and non profit childbirth foundations. As it should be!! 

Their fit is very supportive and SO good for all day casual wear.  Their styles are mostly full coverage, not the best brand if you are looking for balconette or plunge, they focus on more traditional styles.  I mean, how CUTE is this grey with white lace?!?!?  SO good!  SO classic!

Maison Close

MAISON CLOSE

SEXY, SULTRY, ALLURING AND MADE FOR THEM CURVES

A LINGERIE BRAND THAT DOES NOT SHY AWAY FROM SEX APPEAL.  

Personally, i love MAISON CLOSE.  the pieces feel like they are made to fit my body.  i gain an extra oomph of confidence when slipping on one of their delicates.  I don't have the largest bust, so i def enjoy a little extra boost every now and again and MAISON CLOSE knows how to produce.  The brand also has a sense of humor--which is just the BEST!  They create little details in their pieces, like polka dots and sheer straps.  Lingerie should be fun and i love seeing a brand that's so sexy be playful too!